The Kurz Korner

Amusing Articles 
KEEP YOUR OBJECTIVITY
or
HOW TO MAINTAIN YOUR ENTHUSIASM WHILE PLACING FIFTH

By Richard C. Kurz


 

         Through the years, after exhibiting a dog at a fun
match or point show, I have often asked myself, "Why are you
here, stupid? ... You're smarter than this. ... What are you
getting out of it?" Then, in Chattanooga, I looked around and
realized that most of the people at the show had "my" look on
"their" faces.  It is understandable. After all, most of us
lose, don't we? Why should we come back?

         I decided to list what the dogs and dog shows had
provided me through the years. I hope that my list will help you
realize that all is not in winning, but in participation. Think
hard now and share with me the things I would have surely
missed, were it not for my preoccupation with things canine.
 

                         ******************         

 - Hair on the couch;        

 - Nose marks on the sliding glass door;        

 - Going to a formal dance in a station-wagon full of empty crates;        

 - Quiet summer evenings picking ticks off of my eight-year-old son;        

 - The puppy throwing up on my motel room bed in Louisville;        

 - Handler's fees;        

 - Creative excuses;        

 - The crunch of Purina Hi-Pro underfoot in the kitchen; 
      
 - The odor in the back of a van with six German Shepherds during a downpour; 

 - Hair on my chair;        

 - Chewed antenna wires;        

 - Looking to see if the worms had passed;        

 - Hearing at ringside who did what to whom ... when ... why ... how ... with
what ...     and how many times;        

 - Hair on my sandwich;        

 - Taking temperatures;        

 - Building whelping boxes;        

 - Taping ears;        

 - Dusting for fleas;        

 - Scratching for fleas;        

 - Hair on my new black topcoat;        

 - Clipping nails;        

 - Being distracted by mini-skirted handlers, especially the females;        

 - Looking undisturbed while sitting in a pile of "doggy-do" in a quiet grassy
 area near the concession stand;        

 - Hearing my pants split in the ready ring;        

 - Being told that I'll have a winner when she matures, after having shown my
nine- year-old brood bitch;        

 - Hair on my beer can;        

 - Stealing an ice bucket from the Holiday Inn because it makes a great water
dish;        

 - Feeling guilty on the john knowing the dog is waiting for a drink;        

 - A cold, wet nose thrust into a warm, dry armpit; 

 - Hair on my pillow;              
 
 - Stains on the rug;       
 
 - Bourbon-enhanced discussions of the relative merits of "double handling";  

 - Close friendships, ... some lasting a week;         

 - Vet bills;     
          
 - Magazine subscriptions;       
     
 - Long distance telephone bills;             
 
 - Hair on my black socks.
 

                             ****************** 
 

  See? ... Don't give up. ... If you can't taste the "thrill of
victory", savor the "agony of defeat". ... Where would the
points come from without us?  ... We're important. ... Who would
clap? ... Somebody should study the pedigrees. ... Who would
clean up afterwards? ... Who would meet the handler at the
airport? ... Who else would buy the, "Caution Show Dogs" bumper
stickers?  ... We're not getting discouraged. We're just feeling
the weight of the industry on our shoulders. ... Be objective!
... It's fun! 
 

 


 
 
 
 

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